"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
This is one of my favorite passages of the Bible! It speaks to my biggest faith challenge - my need to control - versus letting God work His plan in me. My friends and family know my story well. I am a passionate teacher, accomplished in my career, with a heart for children. The only thing missing in my life was the "Mister." I would be a millionaire if I had a nickel for every time I prayed (begged) God for a husband! It was during one of those ugly-cry-your-eyes-out-to-God moments that God nudged me to relent control and let Him work a plan in me. It certainly was not the plan I had for myself and I couldn't see how for one second it was going to work, but isn't that where God delights - making the seemingly impossible possible?
God's plan was that I would adopt an infant through a private agency. Those of you who know about adoptions know that that private adoptions are costly and that two-parent homes are preferred. I had a small savings account and no husband. In my eyes, I was not going to be anyone's first choice. In God's eyes, I was someone's perfect choice! I was matched with a birthmother in two months and two months later, I was holding my beautiful son. Miles is now 22 months old and the greatest joy of my life. I cannot imagine my life before him - I exist to love this child. Even so, my heart longs for more. I know that God has plans greater than just Miles. There is another child in my future, a child saved by grace for me to love.
So here I stand again with no idea how I will do it. How will I be momma to two? How will I pay for another private adoption more expensive than the first? I should be overwhelmed with fear and anxiety but instead there is peace in my heart as I start this next leg of my journey. That peace comes from knowing that God has it all figured out. He knows where the funding will come from. He has already selected the birthmother. He knows my child's name. I am filled with peace and love as I prepare my heart and home for baby two. What I hope you will take away from my journey is that God has it all figured out for you too - if you just surrender your plan to Him. Love to you all! -j